Tears of the Saints

Passages from the Church Fathers on tears. Reminds me of this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5cmWYWiV-U



"Weep for the unbelievers; weep for those who differ in nowise from them, those who depart hence without the illumination, without the seal! They indeed deserve our wailing, they deserve our groans; they are outside the Palace, with the culprits, with the condemned: for ‘Verily I say unto you, except a man be born of water and the Spirit, he shall not enter into the kingdom of Heaven’ (John 3:5). Mourn for those who have died in wealth and did not from their wealth think of any solace for their soul, who had power to wash away their sins and would not…Let us weep for these; let us assist them according to our power; let us think of some assistance for them¸ small though it be, yet still let us assist them. How and in what way? By praying and entreating others to make prayers for them, by continually giving to the poor on their behalf…Not in vain did the Apostles order that remembrance should be made of the dead in the dreadful Mysteries. They know  that great gain results to them, great benefit; for when the whole people stands with uplifted hands, a priestly assembly, and that awful Sacrifice lies displayed, how shall we not prevail with God by our entreaties for them. And this we do for those who have departed in faith."

-St. John Chrysostom

"[T]here are water and tears: the water of Baptism and the tears of repentance."

- St. Ambrose  

"And grant me that visible sign of Thy love, a cleansing ever flowing fountain of tears, that these tears may also bear witness to Thy love in me, that they may show, that they may tell, how much my soul doth love Thee: that in the too great sweetness of Thy love it cannot withhold its tears."

-St. Augustine  

September 14: The Exaltation of the Holy Cross

"Qui salutem humani generis in ligno Crucis constituisti: ut under mors oriebatur, inde vita resurgeret: et qui in ligno vincebat, in ligno quoque vinceretur: per Christum Dominum.

Who didst set the salvation of mankind upon the tree of the Cross, so that whence came death, thence also life might rise again, and that he who overcame by the tree might also be overcome on the tree: through Christ our Lord."
                                   -excerpt from the Preface of the Holy Cross

Thinking Critically About Fashion (With the Pope)

We've all heard it, cringed, and hoped desperately that the earnest face of a dubiously denominated Christian was not about to ambush us from that over-played Youtube video. Yes, I mean that supposedly prophetic critique of institutionalized religion which makes the rest of us plead silently, "But what does it mean?"

"To me, the concept of Christianity without religion is contradictory and illusory. Faith has to express itself as a religion and through religion, though of course it cannot be reduced to religion. The tradition of these two concepts should be studied anew with this consideration in mind. For Thomas Aquinas, for instance, "religion" is a subdivision of the virtue of righteousness and is, as such, necessary, but it is of course quite different from the "infused virtue" of faith. It seems to me that a postulate of the first order of any carefully differentiated theology of religions would be the precise clarification of the concepts of faith and religion, which are mostly used so as to pass vaguely into each other, and both are equally used in generalized fashion. Thus, people talk of "faiths" in the plural and intend thereby to designate all religions, although the idea of faith is by no means present in all religions, is certainly not constitutive element for all of them, and—insofar, as it does occur—means very different things in them. The broadening of the concept of religion as an overall designation for the relationship of man to the transcendent, on the other hand, has only happened in the second part of the modern period. Such a clarification is urgently needed, especially for Christianity to have a proper understanding of itself and for the way it relates to other world religions."


--Pope Benedict XVI

Biblical Revelation and Greek Philosophical Wisdom

"       From the very heart of Christian faith and, at the same time, the heart of Greek thought now joined to faith, Manuel II was able to say: Not to act “with logos” is contrary to God’s nature. . . . [T]he faith of the Church has always insisted that between God and us, between his eternal Creator Spirit and our created reason there exists a real analogy, in which unlikeness remains infinitely greater than likeness, yet not to the point of abolishing analogy and its language (cf. Lateran IV). God does not become more divine when we push him away from us in a sheer, impenetrable voluntarism; rather, the truly divine God is the God who has revealed himself as logos and, as logos, has acted and continues to act lovingly on our behalf. . . . This inner rapprochement between biblical faith and Greek philosophical inquiry was an event of decisive importance not only from the standpoint of the history of religions, but also from that of world history—it is an event which concerns us even today.

         It is my view that the neoscholastic rationalism that was trying to reconstruct the praeambula fidei, the approach to faith, with pure rational certainty, by means of rational argument that was strictly independent of any faith, has failed; and it cannot be otherwise for any such attempts to do that kind of thing."

Passages taken from Pope Benedict XVI to preface an article on the same subject: Natural Theology and the Christian Contribution to Metaphysics

Foiled Again

"In his book, Revelation Unveiled, author Tim LaHaye says this

'One of the dangerous trends during the twentieth century in the Church of Rome is the elevation of Mary to a status just short of deity.  News media reports indicate that millions have petitioned the Pope to declare her a member of the Trinity, though the official line is that it is not going to happen - yet.  Already she is referred to as 'the mother of God' or 'the queen of Heaven' and in some instances appears to be the dispenser of salvation, which contradicts many Scriptures...To even suggest that anyone, even Mary the human mother of Jesus, participates in dispensing the gift of eternal life is not only heresy, it is blasphemous.'"

 Just when we were about to get away with the addition of Our Lady to the Godhead, too...try try again, I guess.

Blessed John Henry Newman on the Modern and Ancient Church

From the twelfth lecture in his post-conversion series "Certain Difficulties Felt by Anglicans in Catholic Teaching"

"No other form of Christianity but this present Catholic Communion, has a pretence to resemble, even in the faintest shadow, the Christianity of Antiquity, viewed as a living religion on the stage of the world. This has ever attached me to such works as Fleury's Church History; because, whatever may be its incidental defects or mistakes, it brings before the reader so vividly the Church of the Fathers, as a fact and a reality, instead of speculating, after the manner of most histories, on the principles, or of making views upon the facts, or cataloguing the heresies, rites, or writers, of those ancient times. You may make ten thousand extracts from the Fathers, and not get deeper into the state of their times than the paper you write upon; to imbibe into the intellect the Ancient Church as a fact, is either to be a Catholic or an infidel."

Full text of Lecture Twelve:
Ecclesiastical History No Prejudice to the Apostolicity of the Church

Garrettism of the Day

"My pupil asked me today if I have a unicorn. I told him 'Look at me. What do you think?'"

My Norton Anthology of English Literature falls open to King Lear 1.2 and the end of Edmund's speech.

"Now, gods, stand up for bastards!"

An arrow has been traced from this underlined passage to a comment scrawled in the margins.

"ha ha, hard not to cheer him on."

Reason #489 why Kindle will never replace real books. Used and Abused copies are the way to go.

Why We Do What We Do

From an email sent to my lead teacher...

"I wanted you to know the difference in Zane's attitude from Monday to Tuesday is remarkable.  He is enjoying the book now and the poetry he loves.  He read to me the poem that you did in class and had a smile on his face. Thank you so much for putting the love of learning back in my son."

The Question of Papal Primacy in England, 664 A.D.

An illuminating statement by King Oswy at the Synod of Whitby as he submitted to the Paschal practice of Rome. "I dare not longer", he said, "contradict the decrees of him who keeps the doors of the Kingdom of Heaven, lest he should refuse me admission".

The full context by Bede the Historian here: http://www.britannia.com/history/docs/whitby.html

First Day of Fifth Grade Science

The moment I've been dreading has finally come. The children have been asked "What is Science?" The list of what Science is and is not amassed a frightening array of designations.

 Science  
Experiments
Natural Things
Concrete
Visible

Not Science
Supernatural
Feelings
Abstract
Invisible
Sadness

The discussion was certainly innocent enough. Mr. Muns (a fine specimen of Reformed theology) brought up examples of charlatans and fortune-tellers as those who prey on the weak of mind. No one wants to be taken in by false sources of unverifiable authority. As the Great Stevie Wonder said "When you believe in things you don't understand---it's Superstition." And yet...

Could it be that even at the level of fifth-grade Science we want to preserve our epistemological terms carefully? Is it really the wisest method to teach impressionable minds that scientia is a kind of certainty only proper to studying the phenomena of the natural world? The nature and domain of Science has quite a checkered past.

Take the second article of the very first question of Aquinas' Summa. "Whether Sacred Doctrine is a Science?" A brief reading quickly reveals that for a Medieval Aristotelian, science is most properly about that which is not concrete. "No science deals with individual facts" but rather immutable principles. That seems to throw a wrench into our modern instincts. St. Thomas considers the discipline of theology to be not only scientia, but the grandest of all the sciences. And yet I heard in class today (no joke) that the famous "How many Angels can fit on the head of a pin" question is the archetypal "unscientific" question. Apparently Scholasticism, with its questions of Nature, Being, Substance, and Essence are no longer chic. Have we forgotten that the Classical and Medieval world laid claim to the title of Science as well as us? Are we unknowingly teaching our children to accept a weak relationship between Faith and Reason? Natural philosophy (only one small compartment of Science) and Metaphysics?

Article 2. Whether sacred doctrine is a science?

Objection 1. It seems that sacred doctrine is not a science. For every science proceeds from self-evident principles. But sacred doctrine proceeds from articles of faith which are not self-evident, since their truth is not admitted by all: "For all men have not faith" (2 Thessalonians 3:2). Therefore sacred doctrine is not a science.
Objection 2. Further, no science deals with individual facts. But this sacred science treats of individual facts, such as the deeds of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and such like. Therefore sacred doctrine is not a science.

On the contrary, Augustine says (De Trin. xiv, 1) "to this science alone belongs that whereby saving faith is begotten, nourished, protected and strengthened." But this can be said of no science except sacred doctrine. Therefore sacred doctrine is a science.

I answer that, Sacred doctrine is a science. We must bear in mind that there are two kinds of sciences. There are some which proceed from a principle known by the natural light of intelligence, such as arithmetic and geometry and the like. There are some which proceed from principles known by the light of a higher science: thus the science of perspective proceeds from principles established by geometry, and music from principles established by arithmetic. So it is that sacred doctrine is a science because it proceeds from principles established by the light of a higher science, namely, the science of God and the blessed. Hence, just as the musician accepts on authority the principles taught him by the mathematician, so sacred science is established on principles revealed by God.

Reply to Objection 1. The principles of any science are either in themselves self-evident, or reducible to the conclusions of a higher science; and such, as we have said, are the principles of sacred doctrine.

Reply to Objection 2. Individual facts are treated of in sacred doctrine, not because it is concerned with them principally, but they are introduced rather both as examples to be followed in our lives (as in moral sciences) and in order to establish the authority of those men through whom the divine revelation, on which this sacred scripture or doctrine is based, has come down to us. 

An Adventure in Syncretism

First things first. Read Garrett's account of our trek to Food City and the paraphernalia we found contained therein. http://turtleandthephoenix.wordpress.com/

Next, imagine Garrett and I gawking at this Meso-American monstrosity in our incurably Caucasian state surrounded by Hispanics. What good is existence if it isn't rife with peril!

Lastly, please don't ever buy the cartoon children's version of the Our Lady of Guadalupe prayer candle. There may be no exact accounting for taste but we can at least try to keep rough estimates.

Loyalty is....

When your fifth-grade student offers to bring pb&j for lunch every day just to get kicked out of the peanut-free classroom and eat with you outside.

Halle Sweeter, you truly bear the qualities of your surname.

I woke up this Sunday to the brightly mischievous voice of Bill Haley as Scott handed me his phone. "Would you like a ride to Latin Mass today?" The sound of uncountable amounts of Catholic children permeated the background. I quickly explained that I would be there but that I had already made arrangements with the Lindquists to go to Mater Misericordiae. Anticipation was in the air. Subtext? Anybody who's anybody is going to be at Latin Mass. As Josh Rice so eloquently put it back at Hillsdale "Mass is pretty much just a club for the coolest people." I firmly believe that liturgical peer pressure is good for the soul.   

High Latin Mass is another of those newly discovered privileges that I desperately want to make a regular practice. I am steel in PTLSD (Post-Traumatic-Liturgical-Stress-Disorder) from climbing the liturgical ladder so quickly from Evangelicalism to Roman Catholicism. Ecclesiastical Vertigo. I used to worry about whether or not I should consider closing my eyes and raising my hands in worship. Now I frantically cross myself every thirty seconds as a sort of safety barrier. You never know when something especially holy might be happening. Garrett's little brother has a habit of referring to high church forms of worship as the "Stand-Up, Sit-Down" method. He's right. "Intuitive" is not the word I would choose to describe formal liturgical worship. So why choose it? Why not sit in comfy seats and drink Starbucks? Or why not gather in basements with praise songs and candles moving as the Spirit leads? Why insist on patterns and practices that must be learned and performed? My imagination runs wild. Screen pans left. Angry Baptists hold signs saying "Low Church: We're the 99%" "Come As You Are To Worship!" (bathrobe and coffee, anyone?) "Liturgical Legalism? Meet G-C-D-A, the chord progression dictated by God himself."

Ultimately, my attraction to liturgy is the fulfillment of the principles my father instilled in me. Church is about God, not us. It's a simple thing that requires constant vigilance. Wasn't it my Dad that complained to me about how the band was up front distracting our attention? Now I hear plainsong from the schola in the balcony. Behind me. My Dad would love it. He would often explain to me the fundamental mistakes that "seeker-sensitive" churches were making. Evangelism can never be the primary goal of the church service. It sickened him to see people brought to a service by anything other than the things of God. (I could digress here on youth group tactics but I'd like to avoid hate-speech censures from the State of Arizona for a while longer.) Church is for those who know Whom they are desiring.

The earliest Christians kept the celebration of the mysteries of God almost completely secret from outsiders. Evangelism took place in daily living, not during the Eucharistic feast. A fond memory I carry with me is the Divine Liturgy I attended for a friend's wedding. The whole thing was in Greek (and hey, we Westerners still get our weekly dose of Kyrie's) and after completing the introductory portions announced "Ta Thura, Ta Thura!" The doors, the doors. The insistence on closing communion to those only partially initiated or half-heartedly participating speaks volumes as to what Church IS. The celebration of the Eucharist deserves the privacy and reverence of the marriage bed.

As a modern Evangelical Christian, I didn't even know what I didn't know. Thank God, that my Dad had the right instincts. He knew the first question was to ask "What is the nature of worship?" Admittedly, it's a question that has hounded my friends and more broadly speaking my entire non-denominational generation and the course isn't easy. It's a question that spans a prodigious amount of history and theology that I really have no business talking about.  Luckily, we can afford to make the question more concrete. What is it that we do during Mass every Sunday?

“The Holy Mass is a prayer itself, even the highest prayer that exists. It is the Sacrifice dedicated by our Redeemer at the Cross, and repeated every day on the Altar. If you wish to hear Mass as it should be heard, you must follow with eye, heart and mouth all that happens at the Altar. Further, you must pray with the Priest the holy words said by him in the Name of Christ and which Christ says by him. You have to associate your heart with the holy feelings which are contained in these words and in this manner you ought to follow all that happens on the Altar. When acting in this way you have prayed Holy Mass.”-  His Holiness, Pope Saint Pius X

Garrettism of the Day:

"I'm going to be paid to teach small children to hate Saladin. This job is awesome."

St. Martha, Pray for Us

On this Sunday, the Church points us toward the life and work of Martha, sister of Mary Magdalene and Lazarus. This family from Bethany elicits more emotion from Our Lord than possibly anyone else in the Gospels. It is at least safe to say that His tears are mentioned nowhere else. The reality of Christ's affection for this entire family is often obscured by pitting Mary against Martha. The end of Luke chapter 10 has an air of chastisement about it.

"But Martha was distracted with much serving; and she went to him and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.' But the Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; one thing is needful. Mary has chosen the good portion which shall not be taken away from her."

The point is not that Martha is performing a worthless task. Far from it, she is providing for the corporeal needs of the Savior. Augustine is quick to point out that such an action is only made possible by the resurrection, the created providing for the Creator, and is full of dignity. Instead, Luke emphasizes the hierarchy that exists between the part each sister has chosen. The Medieval church drew out an entire vocabulary of vita activa and vita contemplativa from this passage and recognized the relation Christ draws between the two. Things of nature are never worthless, merely transitory, and must be rooted in the realm of grace to have any lasting value.

John's account reveals another side of Martha. She accuses Christ even before Mary, running out of the house before anyone arrives. ""Lord if you had been here, my brother would not have died. And even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you." Her unshakeable faith is what causes her to plead with him in a tone that is bold and demanding. Her question is met by another question (something that must have made Jesus quite unpopular with his good friends) and she reaffirms her faith in almost Petrine language. "Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, he who is coming into the world." John saves us from the trap of considering Martha to be worldly and Mary, spiritual.

Is it not fitting that the Church should ask us to both honor the contemplative Mary Magdalene and her sister of ardent practical charity? Even among saints there are distinctions of personality and charism. Becoming Christ-like is not a cookie-cutter affair. Gerard Manley Hopkins expresses the many-faceted character of sanctification most aptly when he says...

"Christ plays in ten thousand places,

Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his

To the Father through the features of men's faces" 

Heaven is filled with Seraphim and Cherubim both, each glorying in the fulfillment of their respective natures and seeing the unity of wisdom and love in the Godhead.

(Oh, and according to the Golden Legend, Martha used to live in the castle Magdalen, sold all her possessions after the Ascension, moved to Avignon, slayed a dragon, and started a convent. I approve.)

" And she cast on him holy water, and showed to him the cross, which anon was overcome, and standing still as a sheep, she bound him with her own girdle, and then was slain with spears and glaives of the people."
-Golden Legend

A great St. Martha post I just found after writing this here

Garrettism of the Day


Context: This enigmatic figure of Rabbi Chouchani, teacher of Levinas and Elie Wiesel, had a profound impact on many existentialist and phenomenological Jewish philosophers, including Martin Buber. Details of his career and personal career remain tantalizingly scarce.


"He (R. Chouchani) is like the Splinter of Jewish philosophers. He's this shadowy esoteric teaching figure. Levinas and Buber are his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

Recently, I've taken to reading Hans Urs Von Balthasar's meditations on the Rosary, The Threefold Garland subtitled The World's Salvation in Mary's Prayer. I'm half-expecting John Piper to break down the door of my southwestern-style adobe house screaming something about Mariolatory. Alas, I am too far gone. Once I read JPII's encyclical concerning the Rosary, I couldn't escape it's Christological center. Conveniently placed here for your reading pleasure. On the Rosary of the Virgin Mary One of the most crucial texts of my life...

Balthasar's work is divided into three sections of five chapters each mirroring the structure of the Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious Mysteries. The title of every chapter is taken from its corresponding clasulae(Attributed to the spiritual practices of Dom Dominic Eloynus, originating among the Germans in the late Middle Ages. They are a set of phrases one may recite at the center of each Hail Mary to clarify and emphasize the character of the particular mystery. For instance, for each Hail Mary of the Joyful Mystery of the Nativity one would add to whom you gave birth, O Virgin following blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.) And the rose-garland(rosenkranz for those Germanic types) remains the perfect image for what the Rosary is. Three sets of Mysteries (written before the institution of the Luminous) makes three garlands. As Balthasar beautifully puts it; "it is like the distillate of a long prayerful meditation during which, rose by rose, a garland is slowly woven which in the end comes wholly to repose in itself."

I couldn't possibly display all the treasures I've received from this little book, but I would like to leave you with a few insights. For Balthasar, Mary and her fiat form both an example for and a type of the Holy Church. Her obedience and complete reception model the proper response for every Christian. By acknowledging her status we admit our own incomplete union with the divine will to which she perfectly submitted. As an anonymous Middle-English poem reads "The word of God she heard and knew/ Acknowledging it with mildness due".  The call of the divine Logos meets the response of human participation. And the practice of human participation in the will of God is nothing other than the Church. We are to be, as Our Lady is, "a pure answer to whatever the Father disposes." Her perfect faith is the center of the Ecclesia immaculata as we plead with God to look not on our sins, but on the faith of His Holy Church.

The preface contains some truly stunning formulations of the Incarnation by Erasmo Leiva-Merikakis, of which I would offer you merely two. The Council of Ephesus proudly proclaims that Mary is worthy of both the title Mother of Christ but even Mother of God. The Creator humbles himself to be bound by his own creation. The Eastern Liturgy sings "You are wider than the heavens for within yourself you have confined the unconfinable God." The West does not lack for its own expressions at this unheard of grace. "We are Your image, and You are our image" comes from St. Catherine of Siena's Dialogue on Divine Providence. Circles within circles, of Creator and created, ever distinct but in perfect union. The mother of this Child becomes the daughter of her Son?

         "She is a vessel, a monstrance of the Word and Will of God become flesh."

The three day Great Hearts new faculty summit. A place of wonder and great fear.

Our house bravely faced the breaking of a new morn, and trundling off in the early haze of Phoenician heat, arrived at Veritas at a luxurious 8:15 a.m. The day was divided into lectures and a seminar wherein we discussed the "Meno" (only Hillsdalians could find a career where you're required to read a Socratic dialogue for job training.) We were bathed by speakers treating everything from income taxes to the distinctions between the High and Low culture of the West. Add to this my growing fear that someone would suddenly stand up, point at me and shout "Hey! That one's just pretending to be an adult by wearing a tie! Grab him!" and you have the makings of an interesting nine hour day.

And that was only just the beginning. Unbeknownst to Garrett and I, Parker had coolly invited about a dozen people over to our house for dinner. Inventory? Our house contained at the time a grand total of:

A bag of onions
A sack of potatoes
A pan
A two week old bag of asparagus
3 inside chairs (one folding)
4 broken plastic chairs (on the porch)
1 table strewn with Settlers of Cataan pieces
A bazillion books everywhere
And last but not least, the grit and determination of four Hillsdale men to prove their house as hospitable

There was much to be done before the nine women and three men arrived (Just the Great Hearts proportion, I promise). We piled into the car and Parker set our sights for the nearest grocery store. As we raced down the road, our windows were rolled down in celebratory excess. Confidence reigned supreme. Unfortunately, confidence was insufficient to stop Parker's temporary license from whooshing out of the back seat and out the window. Instantly. Only a minor pitfall as we whirled into the parking lot dispersing to buy groceries. Also, Garrett bought a chair. I possibly have not laughed harder in months.

By some miracle, the pasta was made (a la Parker's delicious red sauce), the guests arrived (including the illustrious PG), and a wonderful time was had by all. As night fell, only one guest remained, Michael. To the best of my knowledge he has two Master's in English (One from Notre Dame) and enjoys talking about Chaucer,Walter Benjamin,...and the merits of the Simpsons. The greatest triumph of the night was his capitulation to our charismatic idiosyncrasies-------tangential explanation here-------

Our house has developed the curious habit of Bane-imitation. That's right, the villain of Dark Knight Rises.

 As this League of Shadows schismatic sports a tenuously explained face mask, his garbled voice lends itself to less-than-serious uses. His backstory just begs for ecclesiological humor...

"So you've excommunicated me from the League. I'm forced to start my own order. The BANE-EDICTINES!"

Bane and St. Benedict. Both figures of tremendous spiritual influence that founded an order. Also, they both faced assassination attempts from within their own organization. Coincidence, or the result of Nolan's deeply Catholic imagination? You decide. 


Truly frightening. Also, frighteningly funny. I'm simply asking you to consider your normal everyday conversation dubbed over in a strangely cultured yet pompous tone that always seems to inflect upward.

"Why do I always talk in questions, Mr. Wayne? Is it because I'm better than you?"


On a slightly more serious note, for those who have seen the movie, did you catch the tarnished monstrance that is settled nicely on the Wayne Grand piano? Mm?? Could Batman have a private chapel? Perhaps Alfred was an Anglican priest who came over to Rome and kept the English rite? The possibilities are endless.

In our few weeks together, we've often speculated on the possibility of our house becoming the inspiration for one of those oddball sitcoms. Every element seems to be in place.

Scott, of course, would be cast as the protagonist. He has the advantage of being a normal human being. When moving to a new place, he is concerned with things like the impact it will have on his family, girlfriend, and other relationships. The rest of us are still deciding if the Wars of Religion should have ended. The average television watcher might actually care about what happens to Scott.

-----------------
Scene 1

An anxious but eager Scott opens the door to his new house, laden with bags and high hopes for his new job.

Scott: Hey guys! It's great to finally get to the house. Is anything cooking for dinner?

Andrew (To Garrett): If you insist on the existence of an Order of Anglican Franciscans I will punch you in the face.

Scott: Uh, guys?

Garrett: You can't just ridicule the 39 Articles and act as if that's a rebuttal. Newman's interpretations are still valid!

Scott: Hey, I was just..

Parker: Oh Scott! I was wondering if my ten-thousand books on the floor would look better shaped into a chair or a crucifix. What do you think?

Scott: I think it's going to be a long year...
-----------------------------------------

Scott's a trooper. The events depicted in this show are adapted from real-life situations. Tune in next time to hear Garrett say to Parker's little brother: "Now watch this carefully, Cameron. This is why you don't mess with the Jews."

Cast of Characters; e.g. Housemates


Parker Fox- Our home-grown Phoenician (Scott was right, that is our descriptor now) and old friend.  History major and graduate of Great Hearts. Instrumental in securing our lovely home and always up for a laugh and a good time.

Lutheran.

Garrett Robinson- Another History major and resident Anglophile. He occasionally borrows my Foucault. His application of dry wit can be devastating. Great cook.

Anglican

Scott Scharl- Our man of music and sincere good-will. Fairly organized (a rare and precious skill at our house). Also, the man breathes out Scholastic concerns as if by untutored instinct. Oh, and our third history major. (Which one of us is not like the other?)

Catholic (of the cradle variety. Ergo, only non-hipster liturgical Christian in the house.)


Let the games begin.

Blog fever has descended on our house. Scott's blog (here: To Irrigate Deserts) just seems like too much fun. What could be better than a space for all the adventurous mishaps and quixotic comments of my beloved housemates?

In all seriousness though, in lieu of any desire to return to Facebook, I do feel like I owe something to those who want to occasionally hear from me. It is odd to be living in the hostile and arid climate of Phoenix, AZ (possible the most malicious biome in the contiguous United States) and to be calling this adobe abode my "home."

Oh, an explication of my title is probably in order. Most of you probably know of my enchantment with this particular mythological creature (mythological, not imaginary. You know who you are.) It is now particularly appropriate to associate myself with this bird, recorded in the letter of my confirmation saint, as I live in the city which bears its name and emblem.